I realize what you are thinking but let me interject and state my case. I agree that receiving a compliment is a wonderful thing; it makes me all warm and fuzzy inside. But what I do not enjoy about this entire experience is that I feel that I am presenting a false front to the world, that I have something to hide. I feel the exact same way about make-up. It took me a couple of days to parse these feelings out and truly understand what was happening. Having my hair dyed makes me feel like a fraud. I understand some people feel it is an expression of individuality but when the entire world needs to change something about themselves, it is no longer a unique attribute. I feel that I am perfectly fine the way I am and am very much looking forward to the dye washing away, no matter how many people tell me that I look fantastic with dark auburn hair.

As a first-timer, I did not exactly know what to expect. I simply signed up for the services Jason picked out and went with the flow. I am glad I did, honestly. Their list of options would have overwhelmed me on my own and it was nice to have a decision-free afternoon. All I was required to do was lie on the table and roll over when prompted. It was delightful to put myself in someone else’s care for ninety minutes, letting my mind wander freely. I can see why people pay ridiculous sums of money for this kind of treatment and naturally, I enjoyed every minute of it. It is good to escape my humdrum reality and see how the other half lives but it made coming back to reality that much more jarring.

Missy convinced me to take a rock climbing 101 class at Upper Limits over the weekend. I was a bit reluctant at first but that Groupon did the trick and honestly, I am glad I went, hung over and all. We listened to the instructor for about half an hour before she let us practice anything at all. I had to learn how to tie the knots properly and how to alert the climber that I was prepared to support them on their way up and down the wall. Finally, we were allowed to attempt our first climb. Missy and I stuck to the easy wall for the first one and I approached it with some trepidation. I did not want to make a fool of myself in front of everyone but being born in the year of the monkey must have helped me tremendously since Missy had to tell me to slow down several times. Once I mastered the easy path, we moved on to a more challenging course of action. Still, I destroyed it. We had to leave shortly thereafter but it was a wonderful way to spend a Sunday morning and I hope we take the second class sometime soon.

I have said this numerous times but it bears repeating: my friends rule. I have a very hard time trying to express my feelings so I can only hope they understand how very much they mean to me. No matter how ludicrous I am acting (see the post about my bathroom woes), they step in to calm me down.

For the past few weeks, I have been working both of my jobs nearly every day. I have not had much time to see anyone and that lack of friend time has made this time even more stressful. I am not entirely sure where I am going with this except to point out that during the few meager moments off, one of them stepped in to offer a laugh, a drink, a night vegging in front of the TV or some combination of the above.

With the holidays around the corner, I started hearing rumors that gifts would be coming my way from those around me. This was rather unexpected, in all honesty. I received them today and was completely floored by both their generosity and thoughtfulness. Cara purchased these fantastic mid-century candleholders, along with a pair of tapers to burn on New Years Day for good luck. Boy, could I use some of that after the year I have had. They will look stunning near my pin-up pictures. Jason bought Cara and I gift certificates for a massage and an espresso mud wrap. Holy crap! We always joke about finding out how the other half lives but I certainly never expected to have the opportunity to experience such luxuries. And at the Four Seasons, no less!

Naturally, my shopping is nowhere near complete and now I feel like a heel. I am not even sure where to begin putting together something half as nice as either of these gestures. I better get cracking, though, as I only have a few days to figure it out and execute.

So here I am, alone and crying in my room…again. It’s pathetic. I think this time it has more to do with the frustration of not being able to control things than anything else. I mean, all I wanted to do was cancel the internet at my house and I cannot even check that simple task off my list since it is not in my name. Are you kidding me? UGH! I did my duty and called him (twice), left a message, and now I wait for The Ex to call me back. Of course, I would appreciate it if he would just take care of it and leave me out of it but I believe that would be asking too much. Sigh. My life.

The new job rules because:

1. I am treated as an adult, capable of handling my own schedule. They expect me to work the standard amount of hours and get my job done correctly, completely, and on time but I am not browbeaten into signing in and out. In fact, I only have to complete a time sheet when I am sick or on vacation. I still feel like I am getting away with something as I leave the office in the afternoon without signing out or saying goodbye to my entire department (or team, as they call it in the private sector).
2. Bonuses! I am not even eligible for them at this point but just saying the word brings joy to my life. I was daydreaming of this very notion while working my second job last night when one of my favorite supervisors interrupted to ask why I had such an impish grin plastered on my face. When I was offered the job, my new big boss mentioned this. I laughed out loud and asked if it was somehow related to the furloughs that public sector employees are treated to during times of fiscal distress.
3. I have a clear path of world domination. I know I currently stand as WAY-low-woman-on-the-totem-pole but I expect that with my charming personality and brilliance, I will shortly rule the universe. I can clearly see (via an hour long training session on the corporate org chart) how many people I have to climb over to reach my rightful position as Top Dog. More importantly, I know that it is possible to move up the chain without having to answer the all-important question: “So where did you go to high school?”

1. My former coworkers are all crazy and they are all my family. I can say that honestly about nearly everyone there. Every so often, I would get irritated with one of them but, hey, it’s family and you get over it. I am sure I will make new friends over time but I know for a fact that I spend five years with a tough group of people who knew how to get things done even when the system worked against them.
2. The Round Table. The Round Table was a gathering place…and the place where I sat all my baked goods when I did not want to keep them in my house. We sat around it to discuss everything from federal legislation changes to Cardinals baseball. It may not have all been work related but it bonded us together.
3. I could pass the time via Gmail and streaming online radio. I know that is probably not the most valuable use of resources but I need distractions to keep me focused on the big picture. If I can sent a quick email to my best buddy in the UK or rock out to a song for a couple minutes, it does wonders to keep my energy level up and running. Case in point: I was working through some required online training today sans Gazz/music and I did not get a perfect score on either follow-up test because I could not stay focused on the content. I just KNOW that if I had the No Apologies Track playing at 4 pm, I would have aced them both.

This afternoon, my phone rang with the most thrilling news I had heard in a long time. Exactly two weeks to the day from my interview, I was offered a new job! Apparently, my interviewers unanimously thought I should work with them and I felt the love all the way down the street. I have been crazy happy ever since and celebrating like it’s 1999 all over again. I fully intend to keep the party rolling for the rest of the extended weekend, with a new brewery opening up tomorrow and a Blues hockey game on Saturday in addition to a house party. This weekend promises to be one of the best. I love my life!

I have a longstanding love affair with books. I rarely buy them but when I do, my entire day brightens. Normally, I try and keep mine as pristine as possible but this one I bought specifically to mark up and get dirty. I already checked off the hikes I have completed (nine and counting) and fully intend to keep it in my hiking bag. This book will serve as a reminder of all the places that I have been and a nudge to get me to explore new territory. I have been slacking quite a bit on that front lately so I am making plans to hike again this weekend if the weather holds. It should be a bit chilly, which makes for a great hike. Maybe this time, I will be able to persuade someone into joining me. Who knows? Crazier things have happened.

My friend Steph agreed to drive so Susan and I piled into Big Black for the trip out to Augusta. The drive alone was worth the time, winding through trees painted in the reds and yellows of fall. It also passes near a number of great hiking trails in the area so I made a mental note to draw up return plans that combine these two things. Imagine how refreshing that glass (bottle) of wine will taste after a long hike.

Back to Saturday, though. We pulled into the parking lot in early afternoon and elbowed our way to the tasting counter. I was prepared to fight with the bachelorette party disembarking from the bus but we slid through the door just before them so that saved me from an ugly incident. At Mount Pleasant, it is $5 for five two-ounce pours of your choice and they are paired with Bissinger’s chocolate. Not a bad way to start the day so after Susan and I finished that, we selected our two favorites (one red and one white to suit all palates) and headed out to meet Steph and Tom (who had ridden out on his motorcycle) on the patio. There, we proceeded to drink and chat and in general, enjoy the wonderful Saturday afternoon. It was perfect.

And then I went home and passed out for three hours. Couldn’t have asked for a better day outside of the city.

Side note: my laptop is currently misbehaving. My screen has to be replaced and am waiting on the tech guy to set up the appointment. Perfect timing when I am trying to research a new business idea.

I am working on some big ideas right now so send happy energy my way. I am being purposefully cryptic so I do not jinx it but as things progress, I hope to post details.